Midnight Idols
Space Cretins
Mustard
Live @ The Funhouse
March 24, 2006
By Cheryl (Sugarbuzz Seattle)
Photos By Cheryl
I knew it was going to be a dirty night of rock n roll at the Funhouse with glam/punk love machines the Space Cretins on the bill with heavy metal bass-asses, the Midnight Idols… the kind of dirty best described as the Sunday morning shocking recollection that your panties were left elsewhere the night before while the disheveled remainder of your wardrobe is strewn haphazardly on the floor in a trail leading from the front door to the bathroom.
Kicking off the night, 4 piece locals, Mustard, lit the fire with their punk grunge and metal set of a thick, potent muscle of mayhem and ranting energy. Fun fact: Mustard’s lead singer, Jonas Seaman, was the first kid to be killed in Stephen King’s film, “Children of the Corn”.
The flyin high cyber-punk rocket ride of the Space Cretins swept over us like a wave of rockin’, pouty-lipped, glam napalm. Fronted by struttin’ Seattle rock icon, Paul Diamond Blow, the Space Cretins launch the panty-peeling process with “Rock the Area” and “Hong Kong Blow”. Catchy hooks of head nodding and ass shaking rock influenced by Kiss and Motley Crue steeped in the whisky infused heavy extracts from the Ramones and New York Dolls.
The Space Cretins say they are lost individuals with a spiritual sexuality… and ladies, they wanna show you a good time. Soon, two young ladies hit the stage (who may have had no shortage of recent good times) dancing with a silver thong in the air a la Tom Jones, betwixt and between Markass “Starkiss” Karkass the 4-string jet machine on bass, Danger Dane Bam Bam the drum commander and master blaster guitar master, and Northwest rock legend, Otis P. Otis, rounds out this charismatic force. Nasty and hard hitting, the Space Cretins rock it and shock it!
Metal warriors, the Midnight Idols, riding in on cloven hooves employed the squiggly guitar riff prowess of Thermo and Rizz with screaming metal wails of Diamond C to deliver a pounding castigation praising leather, weed, booze and Satan. In the vein, volume and speed of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM), like Judas Priest, Grim Reaper and Iron Maiden, the Idols set sent hair-a-flyin and metal horns-a-pumping to the “Smell the Witch” and “Nihilistic Angel”.
Male rockers in the crowd were inspired to hold imaginary orbs of evil in their hand, raising them higher as Diamond C held a powerful wail on “Satan’s Son”. Then came the intermittent lesbian encounter on the floor in front of Rizz, which distracted a few of the orb holding dudes for a moment, but not the band, who I gather may come up against this display quite often (pun intended). "We Rule the Night”, title of their debut release, was the explosive charge to finish off the set.
I noticed a silver thong rumpled up next to the Space Cretins set list on the beer splattered stage… a fine testament to this dirty rock n rollin’ night, indeed.
http://myspace.com/spacecretins